A Tip of the Hat to a Couple of Great Mystery Writers

The audience for The Ecuadorian Deception continues to grow, both in softback and Kindle edition. People living in South America especially seem to appreciate availability on Kindle since books in English are hard to come by and expensive there.

One of my motivations for writing this book, besides wanting to turn out a first-rate mystery, was to acquaint people with two incredible cities, Guayaquil and Cuenca. Over the years I have particularly enjoyed writers who took their audience on a grand tour of real places with a rip-roaring cast of characters.

Sue Henry is particularly known for what I call Travel Mysteries. Her heroine Maxie and faithful traveling companion Stretch the weenie dog travel around the US on adventures that leave you with a pretty good understanding of the places the story happens, as well.

My suspicion is that Ms. Henry, who originally made her reputation writing mysteries/detective novels set in her native Alaska, got the traveling jones. As she traveled about the nation, so did her alter ego Maxie.

Good for her. Better for us.

When my wife and I traveled to the Big Island of Hawaii a few years ago, Henry's book The Refuge served as an education about the history of the island's cultures, as well as introducing us to the best places to visit. It's really fun to stand in the very place an author stood when he or she was creating a yarn.

Another talented mystery writer who also provides a great travelogue for the open road is Nevada Barr. Now, let me provide this disclaimer: I don't believe you have to have foul language to have a gritty story. In fact, I'm of the Humphrey Bogart school of thought. Nobody ever said The Maltese Falcon wasn't a gritty movie, but it didn't lean on the crutch of profanity to get it there.

I very much wish Ms. Barr was less reliant on profanity. Having said that, credit where credit is due. She writes some of the most spine-tingling edge-of-your-seat material you could ever want to read. In addition, each of the stories happens in one of our national parks.

Ms. Barr is/was in a unique position to use these settings. She is a former park ranger. Her first novel, Track of the Cat, was set in Guadalupe Mountains National Park in West Texas. My favorite, Borderline, is set in Big Bend.

While traveling to the places where these mysteries is set adds to the adventure, I don't recommend reading her mystery Hard Truth while visiting Rocky Mountain National Park outside Estes Park, Colorado. The book involves the hunt for a psychopath who has stolen children and is using them for his gratification while murdering anyone who gets in his way.

That's probably not the kind of unsettling image you want while sitting beside the tranquil waters of Bear Lake or enjoying an autumn day among the aspens.

If you've got a favorite author who also takes you on the road for adventures, I'd love to know about him or her. Please comment below. Until then, enjoy these two masters of mystery. Oh, and don't forget to read the new novel from that up-and-comer Bear Mills. I'm working to build a fan base and would love you have you in on the ground floor.

15 Things You Need to Know About Cuenca and Guayaquil

Thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, of people are moving from the US and Canada to Ecuador each year. Good for them. Perhaps you are one of them. Good for you. Magazines, websites, travel channels, and financial advisors focusing on retirees seem to be having a love affair with Ecuador.

As well they should. But if you are thinking about relocating to South America, here's 15 things to take into consideration:

1. Ecuador is not the southern edition of the United States. It's not even North America. It is a foreign country with it's own language, customs, and traditions. When you arrive, you will be a visitor. A guest.

We Americans have become accustomed to the idea that every place is just like the US, and if it's not, it ought to be. Not so. I had someone just this week say they were planning on moving to Ecuador from Texas. I asked them if they had considered moving to New Mexico and they, with a straight face, said, "I wouldn't ever move to New Mexico. Too many poor people and too many Mexicans. It's amazing how few people there speak English." But they are planning to move to Ecuador? If they are trying to get away from Mexicans, that will probably work. As for the rest of it...

2. If you want warm, move to Guayaquil. If you want (very) rainy and cool, move to Cuenca. Quito, I can't comment on, having not yet visited there.

3. Cuenca has some of the most beautiful cut flowers in the world. A great daily routine would be visiting the flower ladies in city central each day and keeping a little heaven in a vase on your dining room table.

4. Spanish is the official language of Ecuador. The people are very tolerant of those trying to learn Spanish. Take lessons. If someone visited your house and expected you to learn their language so you could have the privilege of conversing with them, you'd be a little put off. If you don't want to speak Spanish, why are you moving to a Spanish speaking country?

5. Yes, the American dollar is the official currency of Ecuador. However, there is a shortage of small bills and one dollar coins. If you bring big bills ($20s and $50s) you will probably have a very difficult time getting them broken. We stood for almost an hour at a grocery store one day waiting for them to round up enough change to break our $20 for a five or six dollar purchase.

6. If your Spanish is questionable, write down your address on a card and keep it in your wallet. That way you can show it to the cabbie and he will know where to let you out. Even if your Spanish is fair to good, the stress and strain of moving to a new continent, the tiredness you will feel your first few weeks, and the general excitment of it all, may cause you to suddenly blank out on your address. (Not that I'd know about that from first hand experience or anything...) Further, you need to know more than your house number. You MUST know the nearest intersection to your house. That's how people find things. Even experienced cabbies want intersections instead of house numbers.

7. Speaking of cards, if you are one of those who relies heavily on 3X5 and 4X6 cards to make notes and keep yourself organized, you better bring some with you. These little jewels are unheard of in any of the stores we visited. (How in the world do the students study without 3X5 cards???)

8. Cuenca and Guayaquil have a maginificent array of tropical plants and flowers. Keep your camera with you at all times.

9. Once you are settled in, get out and explore! There are very resonably priced day trips from Cuenca and Guayaquil to some of the most amazing places on earth. Go see them. You have traveled too far to sit at home. Go see the Cajas, Ingapirka, etc., etc., etc.

10. If you love to fish, you will love this area. The trout are everywhere and they are an envasive species, killing out the native fish. Hence, the local fish and wildlife people would love for you to take home as many as you can eat and then come back tomorrow for more.

11. You will be in for a shock the first time you walk into a grocery store. The eggs and milk aren't refrigerated. My daughter the animal science major informs me this is no big deal. It will take some getting used to. (More on this in another blog.)

12. Speaking of shocks, we couldn't find any canned soup in all of Cuenca. People make it from scratch. If you are looking for an easy dinner with a can of Campbells or Progresso on a chilly Cuenca evening, good luck.

13. Fortunately, the markets sell an amazing array of vegetables, so plan ahead and make your soup from scratch.

14. Most of the houses in Cuenca don't come with heaters. If you are cold natured, you will need to pack plenty of layered clothing and plan on buying space heaters when you arrive. On a related note, the stoves and ovens work on gas, but not the way you're thinking. They use bottles of propane and you have to buy it from a guy who comes by every few weeks. Go with it. It works for them. It will work for you.

15. Cuenca and Guayaquil were ancient cities before the US of A was even thought about. Take the time to learn the history of these amazing places.

Bonus: My novel, The Ecuadorian Deception, is set in Cuenca and Guayaquil. I wrote it with you in mind. You can enjoy a first-rate story (if I do say so myself) while learning more about this area. If you've ever read Nevada Barr's murder mysteries set in national parks or the mysteries of Sue Henry (in which her alter ego travels around America in a Minnie Winnie and solves crimes), you know what we're doing here.

 Other things people need to know?

Questions you have about Cuenca or Guayaquil?

I'd love to hear from you.

A Word About Thomas Crapper's Adventures in Ecuador

As you no doubt know, it was English plumber Thomas Crapper who, in the late 19th Century, popularized the flush toilet. His contribution to civilization is immortalized each and every time someone says they are going to the crapper or exclaim, "Crap!"

Because England is a long way from Ecuador, Mr. Crapper and his marvelous contributions were slow getting to Latin America. In fact, at one point in Ecuador's history, international ships refused to dock in Guayaquil because the smells from improperly contained human waste were so foul. As recently as September of 2013, the World Bank was still making loans in the millions of dollars to provide the most rudimentary sanitation systems in the poorer parts of that city.

A very helpful sign in the restroom of
a restaurant frequented by Gringos in Cuenca.

While there are flush toilets in all the parts of Cuenca or Guayaquil you are likely to visit as a tourist or expat, that doesn't mean you're going to have an All-American experience in the privy.

For example, you will notice that virtually all the restrooms you visit have a large trash can sitting right beside the toilet. Don't look in it. You won't like what you see. You may even call out to the ghost of Thomas Crapper when you do. Or even to the ghost of Nathaniel Shitzinger (whoever he is).

If you decide to move to Cuenca, you will want to station one of those trash cans next to your toilet and make good use of it for the waste that comes with each wipe. The fact is, the sewer lines in most of the city are simply not big enough to handle paper waste. They are barely big enough to handle the solid waste from humans, much less the paper that accompanies it.

We learned this the hard way. No one wanted to bring up this rather delicate subject, especially when they were trying to convince us what a wonderful place Ecuador was to relocate. Therefore, we had the plumber out numerous times during our first few days because the toilet kept backing up.

You may think you are pretty good at Spanish, but you'll find out for sure when the plumber is trying to explain to you, in the most kind way he can and using very indirect language, why your plumbing lines are completely clogged.

Ecuador is a great place. But it isn't the United States of America. This is one example of the lack of infrastructure that comes with a lack of taxes. Of course, it's not a deal breaker. But if the idea of keeping used toilet paper sitting in a recepticle next to your sink grosses you out, you might want to think twice.

Quite frankly, no one we've met thinks it's that big a deal. Nor did we (once we got used to it). It also explained to us why many people from Latin America have the rather interesting habit of not putting their used toilet paper in the toilet in public restrooms back in Texas. (This is not strictly an Ecuador problem. Lots of developing nations have the same issues.)

I'm told some of the newer areas of Cuenca actually have plumbing lines big enough to handle the crap and the wrap, too, but I haven't seen any. Nor do most people want to take the chance of a major spill to find out.

If you do live in a part of Ecuador where narrow plumbing lines aren't an issue, let us know. You will make your neighborhood very popular and greatly up the value of the rentals there.

Until next time, happy crapping!

Playing Post Office in Ecuador

One of the things people love about Ecuador is that it reminds them of the United States a few generations ago. For the most part, people leave you alone. The cost of living is generally much less than the States, there seems to be far less commercialism, and the feeling is far more rural, even in big cities.

As a matter of principle, many Americans are choosing Ecuador because they want to be as far as possible from a government they believe cannot keep its hands out of their pockets. But one of the trade-offs for this lack of taxation is a lack of infrastructure. All those tax dollars back in the US are used for things like highways, schools, public service employees, etc. And post offices.

The postal service in the US is far from perfect and getting unperfecter all the time. But at least there is one. Want to pay a bill, send snail mail to Aunt Gertie, or get a package from Amazon? The post office has your back.

If you are moving to Ecuador, one of the first things you must get used to is a lack of any sort of home postal delivery. None. Nunca. When it's time for you to get your bills, the company sending them uses delivery boys to stick the bills into the fence surrounding your dwelling. You want to pay the bill? Travel to the applicable offices (banks handle a lot of this) and pay it.

Moving to Ecuador? One adjustment is no mail delivery. Bills
are brought by delivery boys and placed in your fence.

Many of us don't think twice about the United States Postal Service. It's like air. You don't miss it until it's not there. Of course, there are services that purport to make it easier for you to get around this. Bryan and Dena Haines have written an excellent blog on one of them, and the problems you can encounter. http://www.gringosabroad.com/club-correos-avoid-problems/

Like any other issue when relocating to another country, this isn't a deal-breaker, but it does take adjustment. If you are used to ordering things from Amazon and having them delivered, I hope it's books and you can receive them on your Kindle.

Speaking of reading material, another thing Ecuador lacks is greeting cards. We set out one day to find my mother-in-law a birthday card. I'm not sure we visited every single stationary store in Cuenca, but we had to come pretty close. After several hours, we found a business with a few cards thrown in a dusty bin in the back of the store room.

People in Ecuador celebrate birthdays the old-fashioned way...they go see each other. But without a birthday card.

So when people tell you that life in Ecuador is like stepping back in time, they are telling you the truth...the time before home delivery of mail. A lot of people actually like that, and you may, too. Imagine a world of no junk mail. Sounds like a little slice of heaven, yes?

But you do need to become proficient at paying bills online or finding where to pay them in person. That means getting out and seeing the city, practicing your Spanish, and remembering whether a la dereche means turn right or turn left at the next street to find your destination.

For those of you who already live in Ecuador, how have you adjusted to life without mail delivery? Any pieces of advice? For those planning to move, any questions we can help get answered? We'd love to hear from you. Just don't send it via snail mail...

Before You Set Off to See the World...

My junior high Spanish teacher seemed fascinated with making sure her young charges knew three things by the end of seventh grade: How to introduce yourself, how to ask where the bathroom is, and how to conjugate verbs. There was one vital life skill that should have been included in that list; how to order food.

It seems like a fairly straightforward operation. You find the McDonald's in the foreign city of your choice and you say, "Big Mac and a Coke." You lay down your money, pick up your food, and off you go. Not so fast. I've traveled all over South America, in Europe, and Asia, and found ordering food to be a challenge, no matter how good I am (or think I am) at the language.

In Paraguay I was asked (in Spanish) if I wanted a hamburguesa completas. Even a dolt can figure that one out. Sure I want a complete hamburger. Incomplete hamburgers might be missing a bun or the mustard or who knows what. What I got was a hamburger with a fried egg on it. At the American Pizza (which looked like a Pizza Hut, but the resemblance stopped there), I saw an American Pizza on the menu. It was their specialty. I ordered it, only to find it was a pizza covered in boiled egg, tomatoes, peas, and carrots. The peas and carrots were the kind you find in a can labled Del Monte. Yum.

The problem with ordering food in a foreign language isn't just placing your order. It's the ten thousand questions that inevitably follow in rapid-fire succession. Do you want that with fries? Can I supersize your drink? Was that with mayo or mustard? Did you want radishes on that? And even in foreign lands where English is common, it's not much better. In Vancouver I asked for a pizza with Canadian bacon on it. You'd think that would be a slam dunk. Nope. The waitress stared at me. "You want bacon on your pizza? Seriously?"

"Canadian bacon."

"You're in Canada. If you get it here, it's pretty much gotta be Canadian bacon. So you want a bacon pizza?"

"Canadian bacon."

"We've already been down this street. What else you want on it?"

"Pineapple."

"Bacon and pineapple?"

At this point my wife intervened and asked if they had ham. "Sure, and that would taste a lot better than bacon if you're putting it with pineapple."

In Tokyo I walked into a Denny's. "Grand Slam, please."

The waitress, who clearly had taken lessons from the gal in Vancouver, said, "Gran Slam? Gran Slam baseball?"

"Yep. With two eggs and bacon. Grand Slam."

The waitress went over and got the manager. He approached tenatively. "Grand Slam?"

"Yessir. Grand Slam."

He began using sign language, his English being only marginally better than my Japanese. I was pretty sure he was taking me to the acrylic food display found in the windows of all Japanese restaurants so I could point to which Grand Slam I wanted. Instead, he leads me outside, bows deeply, and says, "Most sorry, but we not play baseball here. This restaurant. Baseball in Tokyo Dome. That way."

Undeterred, I pointed at the correct choice in the window and said, "That. That's a Grand Slam."

"Oooooh! You call that Gran Slam?"

"In America, that's what we call it. Grand Slam."

"Ooooooh. In Japan, we call that pancakes."

The local burger place wasn't any better. They have combo meals in Japan, but they are called sets. So I ordered, "One set."

"One? Set?"

"One set."

"Set?"

"One set."

Two hamburgers, one drink, and something faintly resembling fries were laid on a tray. I removed the second hamburger and said, "One set. Not two set."

The manager was again brought over and I repeated, "One set. Not two set."

He said, "Set set or one set?"

Turns out, in Japanese, you don't order one set. You order set. If you want two, then you say two set. But one set is just set. Who knew? An hour and a half later, after the district manager and the American embassy had all been summoned to sort the mess out, I was seated and eating the two hamburgers, one drink, and order of pseudo-fries we started with.

My advice on ordering food in foreign lands? Take cheese and crackers in your suitcase. You're gonna need them.

You're Moving Where...? What's a Cuenca?

When my mother-in-law informed us she was moving to Cuenca, Ecuador, my wife said something along the lines of, "Okay, Bear, you're the former geography teacher. Where in the world is that?" Where, indeed. As we began to explore this bold proposition, we quickly fell love with the idea, if not the reality, of a place reportedly similar to the United States two or three generations ago, but with high speed internet.



Postcard shot of the central part of downtown Cuenca.
The blue skies are a bit of a rarity (not much different than Portland, Oregon). On sunny days,
everyone comes out of doors to enjoy the sunshine.

The first thing we had to figure out was how to pronounce the place: Quanka with the first a being long will work. Kwaanka might also help. The second was to figure out where it was and why it was, according to many authorities, the place for North Americans to retire. The third thing was to figure out why American retirees, spoiled by HD TV and all the infrastructure a well-oiled society can provide, would trade any of that in to live in a developing country. 

If you are familiar with the positioning of Estes Park in Colorado, you will have a very workable picture of where and how Cuenca sits in the Andes Mountains. Like Estes Park, it sits in a valley surrounded by mountains along the Continental Divide. Highly developed ancient civilizations called the place home long before the United States was ever considered.

Unlike the quaint Estes Park, Cuenca has a population of somewhere around 340,000 people. The central part of the city, which sits on a plateau overlooking the newer sections of town, had been a center for politics, religion, economics, and culture for hundreds of years when it was captured by the Spanish in 1557.

Many women still wash clothes in the river. The upper and middle classes tend to do it the old fashioned way: a washing machine.

Ecuador is on the western side of South America, below Colombia and above Peru. Not surprisingly, the predominant language is Spanish. Very surprisingly, the legal tender of the nation is the American dollar. The president of the country was educated in the United States and has the prerequisit disdain for us that you would expect from all Latin American leaders. His political running buddies come from Venezuela and Iran, which doesn't make him many friends in the U.S. government.

The word Ecudaor means equator, but that fact has fooled many people. If you assume "equator" equals hot and you plan to spend much time in Cuenca (or Quito, the capital), you are in for a rude suprise. It rains a lot in Cuenca and reports that high temperatures hit the 70s (Farenheit) each day are misleading. It may peak out in the 70s, but most of the time it is cloudy and extremely cool. Think San Francisco.

So why do so many Americans move to Cuenca? While individual motives vary, the two things I heard over and over were low cost of living and lack of government intervention in daily life. The first is true, if you choose to use the local markets and live the lifestyle of the average working class Ecuadorian. (Most people who can afford to move to South America want more than that.) Regarding the lack of government intrusion in daily life, that's probably true, unless you're a member of the media.

Journalists in Ecuador are on the government's naughty list. Most newspapers that really reported the news have been legislated or sued out of business by the government. Reporters are regularly jailed for reporting things the government would just as soon you not know.

And the lack of government imposition in the lives of the Average American or Candian retiree comes at a price. All those taxes and fees and surcharges you pay in the United States and Canada underwrite the infrastructure we have come to take for granted. Take away the taxes and you take away many of the items those taxes went to provide. The roads in Ecuador can be interesting. When a truck turns over and blocks a highway, it's generally up to the citizenry to figure out how to right the situation. If you need an ambulance, you are advised to take a taxi to the hospital. (The wait for an ambulance might be measured with a calendar instead of a clock.) Most houses are made of cinderblock or stone. That's a good thing. You don't want to rely on the fire department to save you. And schools? Those are for the ones who can afford it. Love it or hate it, that's how it is.

If it sounds like I'm down on Cuenca or Ecuador, nothing could be farther from the truth. But if you are going to change hemispheres, you need to know what you're getting into. And that is the purpose of this blog. To start the conversation on Ecuador in general and Cuenca in particular. Feel free to respond, to disagree (agreeably), ask questions, and throw in your two cents worth.

When you first arrive in Cuenca, you will probably locate in a hotel in the central part of the city. We stayed at La Posada del Angel. Lovely, but no box springs. You left those when you left the U.S. of A. It will remind you of the beds you slept on at summer camp.

Oh, and there is one other motive...I loved Ecuador so much, and it spoke to me so loudly, that it produced a novel, my first work of fiction. It's a mystery/suspense novel entitled The Ecudorian Deception. It is available from amazon.com in Kindle and softback editions.

If you live in Ecuador, are thinking about Ecuador, have ever heard of Ecuador, want to learn more about Ecuador, or never heard of Ecuador but enjoy a good bit of whodunnit, I believe you will love this book. And this blog takes you behind the scenes of the fictional novel into the real places and people that inspired it.

Enjoy.